At Jezebel's one of the first things that Offred takes notice to is the way all the women present themselves. She recounts, "all wear makeup, and I realise how unaccustomed I've become to seeing it, on women because their eyes look to big to me, too dark and shimmering, their mouths too red, too wet, blood-dipped and glistening, or on the other hand too clownish"(247). I think if she were to look at such a scene during pre-Gilead times nothing would really stand out to her. However with the lack of freedom and the current subjugation to women in Gilead, her perspective of the past is once again altered. She begins to question, "is there joy in this?"(247). "All you have to do, I tell myself is keep your mouth shut and look stupid"(247). Atwood's tone during this scene is patronising. When she goes to the hotel room with the commander she is unable to feel any sort of romanticism, as Gilead outlaws the freedom essential to passion, she instead lies on the bed "like a dead bird"(267).
Deep into Offred's and Nick's sexual relationship, Offred talking about Nick states the desire to "see what can be seen of him, take him in, memorise him, save him up so I can live on the image: later: the lines of his body, the texture of his flesh, the glisten of sweat on his pelt...(281). She is making the most of her sexual relationship with Nick so she can pleasure herself in the unpredictable future. She regrets not doing the same with Luke. "... I didn't and he's fading. Day by day, night by night he recedes, and I become more faithless"(281). She regrets not paying attention to every detail, to really take in time to appreciate every bit of making love, of the body and skin. With the oppressive totalitarian theocracy set in place, it encourages Offred to take the most of every chance of liberty and pleasure she receives, whether that is making love with Nick or playing scrabble. And with this new form of sponging up reality she becomes enlightened in the way that she develops opinions that differ from her life before the creation of Gilead. The more she exposes herself to the oppressive nature of Gilead, the more she tries to remember her past in order to justify the present.
